Tonight I found out that my great uncle Howard McKenna passed away at the age of 82. I had never met Howard McKenna. I could have had the chance.
If dad wasn’t a coward. If he had the balls to deal with emotions.
Dad refused to talk about the Gilleos and I never knew why. If I pressed him -and I did so often- was met with with hostility. The mystery surrounding his origins became an obsession. I wanted to know where -I- came from. The surname is unusual. I haven’t been able to find anything about the Gilleos…no place of origin, no coat of arms. I had no problems finding the coat of arms and histories of Donnelly, Tarr, Bradford and so on. I had begun to wonder if it was a fake name.
But I digress.
To sum it up I could have had a chance to meet this great Uncle Howard but have been forever denied the chance to meet or even form a relationship with my grandparents and my great uncle. I think of how he severed ties with everyone at 15. At the time he may have thought leaving would only effect but it has had lingering effects even 27 years later. What I mean to say is that because he made his choice to run away he denied his descendants the chance of knowing them.