Okay, so I’ve recently “moved in” to this place and my boyfriend’s friends, who are the previous occupants (minus one who is going to stay here still), had left the house in an extremely, extremely disgusting house. The carpet is naturally a beige color and now it’s mainly this dark brownish-black where people commonly walked. It took me two days to do half the living room. It took near six hours during two days and I’m still waiting for them to move the furniture.
One guy, who will be called S, left a bunch of his shit, barely cleaned health-hazard house but claims it’s only a tiny bit of stuff and that it was “spotless” when he left. Bull. Fucking. Shit. He also owes Nick $200. S hasn’t made an appearance in almost two weeks if not actually two. The day after I moved in he came over to grab some stuff and I invited him to come over and clean and he said “Yeah sure” and never bothered to make good on it. Both JR and Nick are super, duper, annoyed and pissed off with him. They had both said they’re going to stop being friends with S if he doesn’t give Nick his money by April or help clean up the mess he helped make with JR. JR at least is taking some responsibility and putting in his share of work with me and Nick. Nick bought the cleaning supplies, paid the rent and he’s still being shit on. Here is the conversation I had with S word for word on Facebook.
Me: I wanted to keep my nose out of this but you are going to lose both JR and Nick if you don’t come over and do what is right by them. Nick said if he doesn’t get his $200 by April he’s done. If you don’t get your stuff soon and help clean, JR is done. I like you all and don’t want to see you stop being friends but the time has come for you two to stop blaming each other for the mess you BOTH created and help the two people who didn’t make the mess clean it up. I don’t care who did more or less. Both of you need to be here to clean it up. Why should Nick and I have to clean up the dirty bathrooms that you guys left? No one FEELS like cleaning but it has to be done…especially if you want to keep those two guys as friends. They feel very, very, VERY screwed over by you and…I agree. Do what is right by them.They were going to let it be and just let nature take it’s course but I want you to stay friends with them. Either show up or don’t
Ok but I will say this. I left both those bathrooms SPOTLESS when I left cuz I spent a day cleaning each and Rachel helped me clean up the kitchen completely while jr sat on his ass in the living room. I’m sorry I haven’t gotten the last bit of my stuff I’ll get that. Also I paid for the bills there this month so that needs to be worked out to.
Both bathrooms were disgusting
but that doesn’t matter
Good. We’ll all be home by then. Please at least apologize to them.
Nick and I don’t believe either party about the blame game so it’s useless to say otherwise.
Make up, clean up, smoke up.
we’ll see you at 3:00 then
I will apologize but we are going to have a talk cuz you are making it sound like I left without doing a thing
I’m only telling you what they said
I made no judgments
I don’t give a shit, to be honest.
I have enough problems without this
And honestly, just an observation, you have TONS of stuff still here. By listening to the boys it didn’t seem like much of a dent was left. It took me TWO DAYS to get half the living room carpets done. That should have been done by you and JR before you moved out.
But as I said, it doesn’t matter, I don’t really care as long as it gets done and you boys make up
I’m telling because I care about you guys being friends.
I was actually asked not to
see you coming over so I felt like I needed to
Be mad at me if you like, but in my mind I did the right thing by helping you guys not burn a bridge that would hurt the entire group.
My stuff will be out today
We are going to talk about it Zoe I will see you latest I was asleep.
Alrighty then, glad to hear it. We’ll share a bowl when you get here then. Have a nice nap
I feel as if I was perfectly civil and even tried to calm things down by offering him the peace pipe. Instead he texts Nick and tells him he doesn’t appreciate being told these things by someone who “doesn’t even live there”…I don’t pay rent but I spend 5/7 days here “visiting” until the school starts in September. I count that as “living here”, my stuff is here after all.Now Nick is super pissed at me for “starting shit” but I told him that this is how mature friends solve their problems. They talk about their grievances in order to preserve the friendship instead of letting resentment fester into a broken friendship. The problem is that S isn’t very good with criticism. As you can see, instead of taking responsibility he turned on the person who was trying to save the friendship by letting him know so he could correct the problem. If it was me I’d wanna be told so I could immediately correct the behavior. Most people talk stuff out, I don’t understand the lack of social involvement with their friendship. It’s like they’re a bunch of 13 year old girls who are nice to each other in person but play the blame game (In the scenario we’ll call it talking shit though no IRL shit talking took place) because they lack the maturity to work out their problems.
Nick says I’ve betrayed his trust by giving ‘personal information’ except he’s been talking to just about everyone about it BUT him so I didn’t think it was exactly a secret.
I don’t get why S is acting like his bro’s bitch attacked him. I mean, I do, I just don’t get why he can’t be mature about it. And everyone. I didn’t attack him, I just wanted him to try and preserve their friendships by talking it out. I’m going to try and get some “circle time” with them today and make sure no one points fingers but just focuses on doing their equal share of work and keep friendship separate from the whole thing.
I swear to God though…
If they focus fire me instead of working shit out between them I’m going to go straight back to the mesa in AG. To the cold showers and shut off stove. To the shitty internet and the three channels on the TV. I wanted to help but I see now I should have kept my mouth shut. If I had known they were going to be this bad I would have let them snub each other. I had half thought it was likely they’d turn on me instead but I was confident I could mediate. Now I’m not so sure, I think I may have underestimated their ability to do this.
(Two hours of cleaning later…)
(Still looks like this)
(the living room)
(the kitchen. On closer inspection everything has a thin covering of grease from cooking meat and the like)